You Know You Are A Mom When:

1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a roomtogether and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to callyou, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until youlocate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicle's become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of where itis.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back toher, after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, ect. and youthink it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping,washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving,flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changingdiapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting,clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed,brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging,playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerbalding, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides,nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming,planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog.You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, waterall over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hairforming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice crispie bars.